Twenty First

I recently deleted everyone from my ‘following’ on my ask fm, facebook, instagram, tumblr, etc. Unfriending was essential-not just unfollowing.

I can’t bare the fact that I have useless stuff on my news feed. They are people who really don’t matter. They don’t contribute in my growth as an individual, especially at this time. I need some time alone, with the perfect choice of true friends to hang out with.

I wanted to refresh my list. Right now, I’m getting to know myself deeper. My life is now equipped with a filter, too. I am able to see who the good ones are. Sure there are people who doesn’t do me wrong & contribute to my fun – but they are some of them who are not willing to stay unconditionally. My kind of people are those who can stay no matter how fucked up am I.

Fries before Guys.

Fries before Guys.

I am not a bad person. I have my goals & aspirations that I slowly achieve in  the fairest & most satisfying way. I also go to church but not every aspect of my life will I be able to apply the sermons of Father. Sometimes, I help people more than myself because someday I know they will give me the help that I’m going to need. There are people now who are helping me even if I took them for granted before.Those are the ones worth keeping. I am quite proud to say that I made a little mathematics in my friendships, especially the ‘subtraction’ part. So much for being clean.

Today is the celebration of my twenty one years of existence. I don’t actually celebrate. I also dream of treating my family & good friends to something worthwhile. Today, my Lola gave me extra money as an allowance if ever I’m going to eat for my birthday. I just bought myself a Blueberry Cheese dessert from Dunkin. The white icing on top is the one I’m craving for. The rest I saved up for my school allowance. I already saved a considerable amount of money from sidelines & allowances. I haven’t thought of something to spend on. I turned my back on shopping clothing because I decided to treat myself that privilege when I am already educationally stable.

Also today, I wasn’t greeted as soon as I entered our classroom. My goodbye to social media prohibited my birth date to be exposed to the world. A few people greeted me. Some did because they heard it from the ones who greeted. Some were really aware of the fact. It was nice. My ‘zero friend list’ project is going well. I learned that facebook really helps disseminate the information that it’s someone’s birthday today. Without it, your day will be be normal as it seems.

Lord, thank you for giving me another year. I have no regrets, I swear. Thank you for taking me places on top & at the bottom. Thank you for trusting so much to bear all the joys & troubles I am experiencing right now. I know you love me so much. Please, just give my loved ones the blessings they are going to need. It’s okay if you don’t bless me. 

I just want to dedicate my wish to my special people for my birthday. I know you’ll grant me grace, my Lord.

I want to say that I don’t need Facebook to let people know that: “Hey, it’s my special day. I need to grow, too. Give me a break & don’t ruin my day.”

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